Whenever I hear someone poking fun of someone else’s name I am quick to educate them that the person didn’t name him or herself. That is usually done by the parent or parents of the child or, in the case of Orenthal James Simpson, yes the infamous OJ Simpson, the aunt of the child. It turns out, in fact, that his nickname OJ is very fitting if you are referring to his apparel of choice these days – Orange Jumpsuit.
Now someone could easily surmise that being born in the late sixties and having a name like Kiki, that my parents were total, peace-love-and-Bobby-Sherman type hippies living in some kind of commune when I was born. On the contrary…my mother was a teacher who stayed home to raise her three children and my father was a pilot for a major (at that time anyway) airline. Not only that, but my brother actually gave me the nickname, Kiki, when he began to talk but had a hard time with the name Kirsten. I completely understand since even most fully grown humans can’t pronounce my real name correctly.
There is an umlaut (you know a double dot) over my “i” which is there to indicate a vowel sound different from that of the actual letter. So the kir part of my name rhymes with dear. Hmmmm…come to think of it, maybe my parents were a couple of closet hippies!
Parents need to be extra careful when naming their child. A car is not necessarily a good name for a person (Porsche), nor is a brand of shoe (Timberland) or a piece of fruit (Apple). Also, naming your child Shithead but pronouncing it Sha teed might have some later repercussions. Or naming her La-ia and pronouncing it La Dashia (yes, pronouncing the dash) is not recommended for it is just wrong.
Also, I highly recommended that you do not give your son the middle name Wayne. Besides the most heinous murderers like John Wayne Gacy and Elmer Wayne Henley there are scores of other murderers sporting Wayne as their middle name. If you don’t believe me, check it out on the googles.
So I have been Kiki since I was just a toddler but I didn’t learn the meaning of my nickname, in Filipino, until my mid-thirties.
Upon being introduced to a particular middle-aged women, she shook my hand and giggled.
“What did you say your name was?” she asked.
“Kiki,” I politely replied. And then I spelled it for her as I often do but I'm not sure why I feel the need to do that.
Apparently something was very amusing to her.
“Do you know what Kiki means in Filipino?” she asked in between snorts.
I shook my head.
“It means pussy,” she said as she pointed to her underpants area. Then she began to whisper, “Pussy...as in slang for a women’s vagina...not a pussy cat,” she further explained even though I didn’t really need further explanation as I completely understood what she meant by pussy when she started pointing at her vagina.
That’s just swell!
Note to self…if I am ever in the Philippines, make certain to only use my real name.
9.28.2011
9.22.2011
Craptastic!
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Oh, so true, Freddy...so true!
You know how they say that moving and the loss of a family member are the most stressful things you can go through? Well, allow me to, as concisely as I can, paraphrase what has transpired for my family in the past three years...
2008
March – After 3 ½ years I quit my job in the real estate industry
April - I got a great job in the publishing industry (yes I quit one job before I had the other one - I know...pure STUPIDITY!).
July - The new company that I was working for was involved in a corporate hostile takeover (cross that off my list of things to do before I die)
September - The hostile-takeover company was raided by the FBI and it turns out the owner was running a billion dollar Ponzi Scheme (cross that off my list as well).
October - We sold our home that we painstakingly remodeled every inch of for the past six years. At this same time (because moving isn't stressful enough) my beloved Gramma was hospitalized for a mild heart attack. Several days later, upon moving her from the hospital to a interim nursing home, she suffered a stroke. About two weeks later, my son was involved in a household accident that severed three tendons, a nerve and a main artery in his wrist. He was hospitalized for several days and underwent surgery and six months of physical therapy.
November - After a month of my Gramma's declining health, she passed away at the age of 98. I absolutely adored her and I will miss her forever! We brought our four-month old puppy, Millie, home. She was a very welcome distraction for all of us despite the crazy puppy behavior.
December - I got another new job, this time in advertising.
2009
June - We put our new house on the market, which was always the plan since we essentially did a 'house swap' with our previous house and we were too far from our kids' school. On the day that we were listing our home, my husband called and told me that he just got laid off. Two days later my son was back in the hospital with some different health issues. As if things weren't crazy enough, during my son's five days in the hospital, the ad agency laid me off as well. In the first week that our house was on the market, we got an offer with a closing date in three weeks. The end of June we moved into a friend's duplex for the summer.
July thru August - Our son was back in the hospital 4 more times.
September - Another move. We rented a cool home on a lake, closer to school with the agreement that the owners could put the home on the market in the spring.
2010
May – Our landlords put the house on the market and it sold with a closing date of mid-June.
June – Another move into a home just 1 mile away with the possibility that the owners could get transferred back after being in Canada for 4 years. Not having many options at this time, we rolled the dice.
July - I got a call from the company that I quit working for in April of 2008 informing me that my job was available and inquiring if I was interested in coming back. Hells to the yeah...where do I sign?
2011
January - Our son enrolled in a college 1200 miles away (that's an 18 hour car ride). We also received an official 90-day notice that the homeowners were, in fact transferring back and we would need to vacate the home the end of March.
March - The day before we were supposed to be out of the house, we got a call from our son, who was once again in the hospital (yes, 1200 miles away!). He had emergency surgery on his large intestine; apparently he had a piece of his pancreas lodged in there. Now how in the world does that happen?! For three weeks, we lived at my in-law's (incredibly generous people) and during that time my husband flew out to be with our son and then they both came home so our son could recover for an additional week and then we sent him back to college.
April - We moved (yes, AGAIN) out of my in-law’s basement and this time we signed a lease for a whole year. YAY!
May - Our son came back from college to spend the summer with us and he is healthy. YAY!
June - After 2 1/2 years of my husband running his own construction/remodeling business, he got an offer for a fabulous job with an excellent company. YAY! The catch - it's in a different state that is five hour drive away.
June 26th – My daughter, my baby, turned 17 years old and my husband left for his new job.
That pretty much sums up the past 3 years for us; 5 houses, 6 moves, 3+ jobs, 7 hospital stays, 1 death and bunch of everyday incidentals.
During these extremely difficult years, I have learned many things: that I would do anything not to have my children experience pain (there were so many times that I had wished that it was me lying in that hospital bed, instead of him), that I love my husband more now than on the day I said "I do", that home is where your family is and the stuff that fills your home is not important and that no matter what you are going through, you have to pick yourself up every day, keep going and be strong. Sure many days I felt as if a donkey kicked me right in the solar plexus but as REO Speedwagon so eloquently sang…you got to, got to, got to, got to...keep on rolling!
Friedrich Nietzsche
Oh, so true, Freddy...so true!
You know how they say that moving and the loss of a family member are the most stressful things you can go through? Well, allow me to, as concisely as I can, paraphrase what has transpired for my family in the past three years...
2008
March – After 3 ½ years I quit my job in the real estate industry
April - I got a great job in the publishing industry (yes I quit one job before I had the other one - I know...pure STUPIDITY!).
July - The new company that I was working for was involved in a corporate hostile takeover (cross that off my list of things to do before I die)
September - The hostile-takeover company was raided by the FBI and it turns out the owner was running a billion dollar Ponzi Scheme (cross that off my list as well).
October - We sold our home that we painstakingly remodeled every inch of for the past six years. At this same time (because moving isn't stressful enough) my beloved Gramma was hospitalized for a mild heart attack. Several days later, upon moving her from the hospital to a interim nursing home, she suffered a stroke. About two weeks later, my son was involved in a household accident that severed three tendons, a nerve and a main artery in his wrist. He was hospitalized for several days and underwent surgery and six months of physical therapy.
November - After a month of my Gramma's declining health, she passed away at the age of 98. I absolutely adored her and I will miss her forever! We brought our four-month old puppy, Millie, home. She was a very welcome distraction for all of us despite the crazy puppy behavior.
December - I got another new job, this time in advertising.
2009
June - We put our new house on the market, which was always the plan since we essentially did a 'house swap' with our previous house and we were too far from our kids' school. On the day that we were listing our home, my husband called and told me that he just got laid off. Two days later my son was back in the hospital with some different health issues. As if things weren't crazy enough, during my son's five days in the hospital, the ad agency laid me off as well. In the first week that our house was on the market, we got an offer with a closing date in three weeks. The end of June we moved into a friend's duplex for the summer.
July thru August - Our son was back in the hospital 4 more times.
September - Another move. We rented a cool home on a lake, closer to school with the agreement that the owners could put the home on the market in the spring.
2010
May – Our landlords put the house on the market and it sold with a closing date of mid-June.
June – Another move into a home just 1 mile away with the possibility that the owners could get transferred back after being in Canada for 4 years. Not having many options at this time, we rolled the dice.
July - I got a call from the company that I quit working for in April of 2008 informing me that my job was available and inquiring if I was interested in coming back. Hells to the yeah...where do I sign?
2011
January - Our son enrolled in a college 1200 miles away (that's an 18 hour car ride). We also received an official 90-day notice that the homeowners were, in fact transferring back and we would need to vacate the home the end of March.
March - The day before we were supposed to be out of the house, we got a call from our son, who was once again in the hospital (yes, 1200 miles away!). He had emergency surgery on his large intestine; apparently he had a piece of his pancreas lodged in there. Now how in the world does that happen?! For three weeks, we lived at my in-law's (incredibly generous people) and during that time my husband flew out to be with our son and then they both came home so our son could recover for an additional week and then we sent him back to college.
April - We moved (yes, AGAIN) out of my in-law’s basement and this time we signed a lease for a whole year. YAY!
May - Our son came back from college to spend the summer with us and he is healthy. YAY!
June - After 2 1/2 years of my husband running his own construction/remodeling business, he got an offer for a fabulous job with an excellent company. YAY! The catch - it's in a different state that is five hour drive away.
June 26th – My daughter, my baby, turned 17 years old and my husband left for his new job.
That pretty much sums up the past 3 years for us; 5 houses, 6 moves, 3+ jobs, 7 hospital stays, 1 death and bunch of everyday incidentals.
During these extremely difficult years, I have learned many things: that I would do anything not to have my children experience pain (there were so many times that I had wished that it was me lying in that hospital bed, instead of him), that I love my husband more now than on the day I said "I do", that home is where your family is and the stuff that fills your home is not important and that no matter what you are going through, you have to pick yourself up every day, keep going and be strong. Sure many days I felt as if a donkey kicked me right in the solar plexus but as REO Speedwagon so eloquently sang…you got to, got to, got to, got to...keep on rolling!
9.14.2011
How It All Started...
Kiersa;
So I came home to pee (again) and grab a bottle of wine to bring to the party even though the host doesn't even drink and a name came to me...
Bangs on a Fivehead
See, I asked my stylist for bangs last week because instead of a forehead (fourhead) I have more of a fivehead.
Kiki
So that, my friends, is how Bangs on a Fivehead was born. Buckle up and enjoy!
I love 80's music and this is the best song EVER...
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